Baby Boy # 3

Today I went in for my 3D ultrasound and Tommy, Carlee and my mom were with me. It was so fun to see our little guy moving around. We feel so blessed to have him in our family, and cannot wait until the day we meet him.

I have to say I am proud

For the last month in a half when we say prayers with Carlee at night we have been working with her on the articles of faith. She has memorized the 1st Article of faith at 3 1/2 years old. I am so proud of her. My smart little cookie!
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3rd Trimester

Tommy and I are so excited to meet our little guy on October 5th 2011. I am scheduled for a c-section and can not wait to hold him in my arms. After losing Caden I have missed holding a baby and waking up in middle of the nights for feedings. When it is taken from you so suddenly that is one of the things that is so hard to deal with. We will be using Caden for his middle name but we are still working on his first name. We still have a little time!

Dress up!

Carlee loves to dress up. She says,
" I am gorgeous!"

More Christmas pictures 2010

Christmas Day 2010

On Christmas Morning we had to wake Carlee up at 9:30am to open her gifts. Soon after we were off to my mom's house to open more gifts and spend time with my family. We had a lot of fun just visiting and eating. Carlee loves hanging out with her cousins. She calls her cousins her sisters. She cracks me up. Our gift from my mom was a beautiful picture quilt with pictures of Caden. We love it! It was the best gift. Christmas was hard emotionally for Tommy and I not having Caden. We are so thankful we have Carlee to help us in these difficult times.

Christmas Eve

Every Christmas Eve we go to Tommy's parents house for a dinner, white elephant exchange and just to enjoy everyone's company. I love being with my family. Carlee gets so much attention from all of her uncles and aunts, and she loves it!

So tired! 11-29-2010

Decorating for Christmas

Tonight for Family Home Evening we decorated for Christmas. Carlee was a big help. She knew exactly how to put the ornaments on the Christmas tree. Then it was time for dessert. We had donuts and hot chocolate. Carlee was in Heaven! Then we picked up mimi (my mom) and went for a drive to look at Christmas lights. As we were putting the tree up I told tommy, if Caden was here he would be the age where he would be crawling up to the tree and pulling ornaments off. That is crazy to think about. I wish he were here to celebrate Christmas with us. We had a good night! I love my family!

Happy Birthday Lee

Happy Birthday Lee! You were a great man and I miss you so much. I wish you were here so I could talk to you. I know if you were here you would sit with me and let me cry to you about how much I miss Caden. There was a guy walking out of circle K with a thirst buster the other day and I thought of you. I remember how much you loved your diet dr.pepper. I saw a guy around your age running the other day and remembered how you would like to go on walks. I think of you often and wish you could be here. One day we will be able to see each other again. I found a scorpion the other day and had to call my mom to come and kill it, since Tommy was out of town and she said to me, You can do it, just kill it. I told her if Lee was here he would come over and kill it. Which I know you would. You were that kind of person when someone needed something you were there to help them. She did come over and kill it. Thanks mom! You were a great step dad and Poppa. The grand kids just loved you, and really enjoyed all the fun things you would do. They will always have good memories of you. I love you. Jessica

Prettiest Mom

Before I was a Mom ,
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't
stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so
important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a
Mom.

The oncologist just came in, it is looking like Caden will be here for another 28 days for chemo and a week home and then back for 21 days, home a week, back for another 28 days etc. A total of 5 different sessions ending approx in Dec. and then an MRI every three months for a year, and then the MRI's will be every 6 months after that. Some of the chemo can possibly be done at home.

Blog for Caden

http://benefitforcadenjohnson.blogspot.com/

Caden at 10 weeks old

Caden's 2 month stats- 10lbs and 24 inches long. Tall and skinny!
Caden is smiling so much more now. He loves to be held. We are still trying to get him to sleep on his own. He loves to cuddle. Carlee is so cute with him. Sometimes she is a little irritating. She likes to talk to him and touch his face when he is sleeping. I guess thats what 2 year olds do.

Fruit loops

The other day my mom and I were in the computer room and I decided it was time to go and check on Carlee. I walk into the kitchen and I hear her moving something around in the front room. I walk in to the front room and she has a little bowl and the box of fruit loops poured out on the couch and her bowl was overflowing with cereal. My mom grabs the camera takes a few pictures then sits down to help Carlee clean the mess up. Carlee picked up her bowl and looked at my mom with a mouth full of fruit loops and said, "MIMI SCHPOON"! (spoon) She was ready to eat.

Birth story of Caden Lee

2 years ago I had a c-section with Carlee so I had a scheduled c-section with Caden. This experience was a lot different. On February 11th 2010 I had to wake up at 4:30 am and eat a good breakfast because I wasnt able to eat anymore 8 hours prior to surgery. That was hard to wake up and make yourself eat. We left home at 9:00am to take Carlee to her mimi and Papa Johnson's house. She had a good time over there and Tommy and I headed to the hospital. We got there at 10:45am and did some paperwork and then we were off to Labor and delivery. They had me take a shower and then got me all hooked up to monitors. Asked me lots of questions and Dr. Mckernan came in to say hi and that he would meet me in the OR. At about 1:15pm they had me walk to the OR and I got my spinal and then they had me lay down real quick before I got to numb. Then soon after Tommy was able to come in and sit by my head. We listened to the medical staff just talk about random every day stuff. They were talking about Bon Jovi. We were listening to some cool music as they were cutting me open. At least I knew they were relaxed. Right? The PA Sam was helping Dr. Mckernan deliver Caden and while she helping him she sounded like she was having a really hard time pushing on my stomach. She kept on making a grunting noise. I guess Caden didn't want to come out. Then I heard them say oh look at his hair, and then they pulled him out and said ok take a picture Tommy. At 1:45pm he was born, they put him over the curtain so I could see him. He was so sweet. They took him over to the warmer and I could hear him crying. He was perfect. 7lbs 15oz and 21 1/4 inches long. I was able to hold my bundle of joy about 35 minutes after he was born. They brought him into the recovery room so I could try and nurse. He nursed like a champ. The nurses were great at the hospital. It really take a special person to be a nurse. We came home on February 14th 2010 from the hospital. Best Valentines gift ever. I am so happy and blessed to be a Mother. I wouldn't trade this for anything.

Happy Birthday Carlee!

Today Carlee is turning 2 years old. I can't believe how fast this time has gone. Carlee you make your mommy and daddy to happy. You do so many things to make us laugh. I am not sure how many words are in your vocabulary, but it is alot. You will repeat anything we say. Your a chatter box, but we love it. Tonight we are having a little party for you with your grandparents. I will post some birthday pictures later. We love you Carlee girl! Mommy and Daddy.

Prayers

Carlee just melts my heart. I have been trying really hard to say family prayers every night. I have started to ask Carlee if she would like to say the prayer. She will fold her arms and she will repeat every word I say. She is so much fun. Tonight she had to say her prayers with her Ginky (pacifier) in her mouth.

Carlee's first snow trip

On Wednesday my mom, Carlee and I went to flagstaff to visit my Aunt Shelley and Uncle Mark. We stayed the night 2 nights and had a good time. It was so cute to see Carlee in the snow. She wasn't to sure about it.

My Little Artist

This morning I asked Carlee if she would like to color. I got some paper and 2 crayons out for her and sat them on the piano bench. I left the room and she was being really good. All of a sudden I hear her writing on something rough. The Hall WALL. Yes it is my fault. I walked in there and she looked at her art job and said, "Oh Gosh". She knew she did something wrong. That was the first mistake on my part, now another. So I decided to put her in her high chair to color. Yes not a good idea. I leave the room and come back and she has colored on the wall behind her. I should of put the high chair in the middle of the kitchen. I am just now learning.